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10 November 2009 @ 06:29 pm

One Shot

Title: Touches
Rating: PG-13
Warnings : Cussing, kissing
Summary: When Zhou Mi couldn't control his desires anymore... 


Chapter-ed
Tags: ,
 
 
04 November 2009 @ 10:08 pm

 

 
 
Where? : room
Mood: bouncybouncy
Muse: Blue Tomorrow-Sj-M
 
 
17 October 2009 @ 01:10 am
Hankyung awoke to the sounds of smashing and slamming of what seems like furnitures in the other room. He licked his lips dry from the little drools that formed around his mouth and sat upright, adjusting to the surroundings.

Oh yeah...
he remembered falling asleep as soon as his heavy head came into contact with the coffee table. And he had been laying there, in his peaceful little nap for the past...
glancing at the clock, it was 6 in the evening.
ah, he had been sleeping for the past 3hrs, after Heechul had chased him out of the room by threatening to get up from the bed.
And so the noises now from the room, seems quite reasonable, since it was natural of Heechul to take things out on furnitures and objects, espcially those that were in his room, rather than people, since the only person in the house right now was Hankyung, and the china man could quite see that Heechul would rather bite his own head off (like that is possible ) than lay a finger on the china man, since he could feel the boiling anger and hatred producing from that sexy body of Heechul's towards him. And Heechul won't touch someone he didn't like, because they were what he deemed, "dirty".
Hankyung flinched at the thought. How could Heechul think he was dirty. In the first place how did he end up in this situation, whereby the only love of his life was hating every fibre of his being? He grimaced, hard, at the floor, at himself, at the stupidity of the whole incident, and the condition and state that he was in.

It wasn't Heechul's fault, really. It wasn't one of his moody days, since he was smashing furnitures instead of pushing Hankyung hard on the bed and sexing him up.
This time it was different.
The moodiness wasn't caused by his mood-swings, but by Hankyung, the china man that he love, he adore, dearly, in his exceptionally tight and narrow chest that isn't open just to anyone.
Heechul had given anything, and everything he has, and takes pride in, to Geng. And has also given up stuff he never thought he could to the younger man too. Like his status of a straight man, and his virginity.
He didn't even mind the despise of his parents in the beginning, when they found out he was in love with a man, instead of a woman. (but anyway they accepted it in the end of course)
But this time, it was the first and last straw he could bear. This time it wasn't mood-swings that caused the anger in him. It was Geng who let him down, disappoint him so hard he couldn't believe this was the man he was so in love with. When Geng came back from Super Girl promotions in China, he had headed straight back to dorm and have had some heavenly sex in Heechul's room. Heechul was gasping for air, was gaping at Geng, staring at him like he had a third eye. Because it was unsual of Geng to be the one who initiate it first. For some weird moment, Chul had thought that maybe Geng inherited the mood-swings from him, and similarly the only remedy was sex with Heechul.
But how absolutely , absurdly, totally wrong he was.
When they have had their fill, when Heechul was satisfied and pushed Geng aside roughly to ask him to stop, he had sat up and questioned Geng absent-mindedly about what was wrong with him that he didn't even bother to say hi to the other members before coming in and giving Chul what Chul missed badly these 2months of SJ-M's promotions. And Geng had confessed, and Chul had flipped, and everything just unfolded like that, with Chul falling sick right after, diagnosed with a unbelievable high fever, and Geng trying to hard to make amends, but he just couldn't with Chul rejecting again and again.

Geng sighed. He hurried on his feet and paced towards the door. Kicking it opened, he stared wide-eyed at the mess the older man made. It was even worse than the last time Chul had done this. And the older man still couldn't stop. He was still smashing stuff. Some Korean book, and then a CD case, then a flower... (howthehell did a flower get into his room lol) Hankyung ran forward and grabbed Heechul's arms, locking them in a vice like grip and pinned them to his sides.

"Get a grip on yourself, Xi" Hankyung whispered, though his voice was trembling, because he knew he had no right to stop Heechul, since he was the one that caused this.
Heechul's eyes were on the floor, with bits of his hair falling limply around his face.

"Let. GO."

"No."

"I said. Let. Go."

"I said no."

"WTF I SAID LET GO!!!" Heechul snapped his head up in an awkward flip and stuggled out of Geng's grip when Geng realised his Xi was actually crying. Kim Heechul was CRYING. His face was totally wrecked, with eyes so damn puffy, you can stuff a whole bunch of flowers inside.

"Oh goodness... Xi Che... I... I... oh, don't cry baby." Geng had let go of his hands.
Heechul balled his fists and unballed them to push the china man roughly on the chest, sending Geng half flying towards another corner of the room, the result of some immense strength Xi had, hidden under his slim body.

"It's over. You treat me like a game, I shall treat our relationship like one too. The game is over, and you lost." Heechul spat those arrow-like words at Geng, struggling to keep his expression from getting too torn.

"No, Heechul, no, it was just a fling, a fling!!! One-night-stand!! That was all!!"

"A fling? One-night-stand?!!! Oh, and you're still saying like it wasn't a big deal huh?"

"Goodness Xi, I was DRUNK. I didn't know a FREAKING THING OKAY. Can't you just let it go? Everyone would have their absurd drunk nights that we don't remember. It's part and parcel of life , Xi. Just let it go, alright?"

"I have my drunk nights too. But drunk nights don't always equal up to one-night-stands. And what are you, bisexual? How can you have sex with a female after sexing me up before?!"

"Gay doesn't mean bisexual, Xi."

"DON'T CALL ME XI, I'M NOT YOUR FREAKING XI CHE FROM TODAY ONWARDS. WHATEVER CHEENA NAMES YOU GAVE ME DON'T APPLY ANYMORE. EVERYTHING IS OFF, OFF, OFF, FREAKING OFF! IT'S OVER."

"XIAO XI, XI CHE, BAO BEI, QING AI DE!!!" Hankyung didn't care. If Xi doesn't want to be called any names that Geng had adoringly nick-named him, all the more Geng would call him those.

TBC...!
 
 
Mood: gloomygloomy
Muse: Tree- Yesung
 
 
11 October 2009 @ 12:31 am
No proper title yet, I'm still working on it~ The Mistake
this would be like a 2-3 chapters thing. LOL. It's just a sudden urge for HanChul♥
what are the odds of them getting married? T_T I want a Hanchul-a-day comm thing D: They are lacking. As in pictures. Not much of HanChul D: WHY T_T 

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Heechul stirred a little in his otherwise peaceful slumber, as Han Geng sat beside his bed, gazing at him fondly, eyes never bearing to leave his beautiful face, not even for a second. The desire bursting and growing in the china man’s chest, was overwhelming. He wanted to be lying next to the older man, stroking his milky hands back and forth, laying his head on the older man’s lean chest, listening to his heartbeat, that awfully melodious sound, like a musical note strummed perfectly on the guitar. His heartbeat is all Han Geng wanted to hear for the past few disgusting weeks. The days without this pretty boy were hard. Even when Siwon was there with him, it seemed fine from the outside, but the china man wasn’t satisfied, he dreamed, wished, desired for the taste of Heechul’s lips, the tip of that sexy tongue, licking his own, in rhythm to those long, sweet frenching sessions that Han Geng silently craved for every night.   But he knew, he knew jolly well if he were to do just that, to lay down next to that immortal body now, he might as well be dead. If Heechul were to wake up and find the younger boy next to himself, he’ll do something drastic, something dramatic, something out of the world that no one thought he could do (except Han Geng of course), and then when he realized he had done it, he would break down, he would cry, he would end up being hurt, upsetting himself.

 

That was the last thing Han Geng would want, or would ever allow for that matter, Heechul to do. If something were to make that pretty boy unhappy, it would anger him too. So Han Geng had to bear with whatever cravings he had. No matter how overpowering and devilishly strong they are, he needed to restrain.

 

“Ya~..” the china man heard Xi Che moaning softly, weakly, which only happens when his darling Xi Che feels like dying, with no energy left in that sexy body, and that happens even lesser than a blue moon. It was a frenzied moment as Han Geng fussed over the older one, feeling his limbs, his body, for any signs of increasing temperature. He did this silently, without a single sound coming out of his lips-he was terribly good at that anyway-.

 

“YA!” Han Geng stumbled a little backwards as he let the small little hanky he was holding fall onto the floor, staining the floor with ice water. He kept his eyes on the hanky, refusing to look at the source of that sound. Heechul wasn’t moaning. He was saying “ya”, as in “hey”, only with Heechul, it was something more like, “HEY YOU!” in an absolute unfriendly way, in Han Geng’s case. Though Heechul was running an unbelievably high fever, the china man guessed it didn’t hurt a lot to yell at a state like this. After all, he’s Heechul, that epic guy. Han Geng was still silent as he stared at the floor, ashamed.

 

“You…” Heechul was saying that in mandarin, much to the china man’s amazement. At times like this, it usually mean that Heechul is trying to express that he would meant what he was about to say and hence warning Geng never to doubt his words.

 

The bed sheets ruffled a little, reacting to Heechul’s failed attempt at getting up. Han Geng panicked as he reluctantly raised his eyes.

 

“I’ll go, I’ll go out okay? Don’t get up. Stay in bed. I won’t come in. I’m sorry. I love you,” it came out in a rush, because he knew if he were to speak slowly, before he could even finish forming his lips to say the second word, Heechul would have pinned him onto the floor, and slaughtered him. He backed towards the door slowly, reversing, since he wasn’t going to let his eyes drop from Heechul’s gaze. (he need to be on his guard anyway) When he felt the door knob, he hurriedly turned it, and when the door was pushed aside, he finally felt it was ready to turn. Taking in an incredibly huge amount of oxygen, he puffed his cheeks and held it there.

 

1…

2…

3…!

 

TURN, RUN! Ahh there, he made it out of his room. Wasn’t that just so easy? But still he didn’t smile. Everything was his fault after all. Aish, could this get anymore complicated?

 

As Han Geng tapped his fingers on the table top in the living room, he thought, he planned. Should it be something like…

 

“Heechul ah. Yah, I’m a man, I do what I want!”

No he couldn’t do it. It was too harsh for those delicate ears. And furthermore it definitely wasn’t Han Geng’s sentiments.

How about…

 

“Love… you’re my life. Let me kiss you now.”

Ah no, that was completely irrelevant.

 

Geng’s mind was on a storm. He was knackered, confused and awfully exhausted from so much thinking, so much planning. He started to stand, but gave up on those droopy lids. He sat back down and slumped onto the floor, slipping into a similar slumber Heechul has had just now.


CHAPTER TWO!
 
 
Mood: draineddrained
 
 
10 October 2009 @ 02:11 pm

006

Sorry sorry sorry~”

 

I was sitting at the front row at the Asia Song Festival concert. Fingering with the lightstick held in my hand, I smiled silently to myself. It was already 2months. And it still seems so unreal. Many a times he gets annoyed whenever I told him it just seems like a dream.  Regarding the fans… they still didn’t know. Our relationship was still kept from the public, like an underpass relationship. That never ever stopped making me worry. I knew one day, someone would bound to know, no matter how much the fifteen of them, and me myself promised to seal our lips. But how would I, how could I doubt his words? His constant assurance, reassuring me everything would be fine. But what would we end up? Continue dating for the rest of our lives in the dark? Being with him made me happy, but it wasn’t secure. I wanted, I craved for security. But being with him, it was far from possible. No matter what, he’s still an artiste. And now they are rising to be international superstars. I couldn’t bear to think what would happen if our relationship were to leak out and made known to the public. I would be the target of all the fans, his particularly. I would be bombarded with questions from the media, I would be the headlines. And most of all, I would ruin Super Junior’s reputation. The reputation they worked to hard to built, and he worked so hard to nurture it. I would be suicidal. And that would make him sad. I don’t want him to be sad. As long as he’s happy, everything is negotiable. As for now, letting our relationship hang in the air like that is still not much of a problem. I can handle.

 

Their performance came to an end and I rose immediately, strolling towards the backstage.

“Excuse me young woman, just a minute…” a representative with a pass that said: ASIA SONG FESTIVAL BACKSTAGE HELPER stepped out and blocked my pathway. I sighed and reached into my bag, fumbling for my pass. I fished it out and thrusted it at his face. It said: SM Make-up artist (Super Junior). Of course I wasn’t their make-up artist, but Leeteuk sneaked that pass out for me every time they have performances, so I could visit him backstage.

 

“Mmm…” the representative mumbled, “Why couldn’t there be more make-up artists like you? Every one of them wears weird clothes that are impossible to find out there. Only you look decent and normal. Oh, and you didn’t shave your head too.”

 

I rolled my eyes. “If you could step aside…”  He moved to the side quickly.

 

“And stop insulting my profession,” I finished. Smoothing down my skirt, I threw him a smile and walked in.

 

I found their preparation room within a couple of minutes and pushed the door open. Man, was the door heavy. I tried again and this time it gave in and moved to the side. I walked in and looked around, much too eager to see Jung Soo. Suddenly, two muscular hands wrapped around my waist and hugged me tightly.

 

“Iron man!” I screamed. He threw his head back and laughed.

 

“Oh yes, my wonder woman?” he said, his voice impossibly melodious.

I giggled. He let me free and I turned to face him.

 

“Since when did you become so muscular?” I asked accusingly, gesturing to his arms.

 

“Since I decided to become iron man,” he smiled.

 

“That’s stupid,” I accused again.

 

“I know. But I learnt it from you, wonder woman,” he replied softly, whispering into my ears.

 

I giggled shyly again. I heard the door being pushed aside, and someone walked in, whistling.

 

“Hey noona,” I made a face.

 

“I’m younger than you Donghae…” I whined.

 

“But you and hyung are an item so that makes you a noona. Anyway when you two get married it’s still the same thing. I might as well call you noona,” he answered back.

 

I blushed.

 

Jung Soo pulled me into his arms again and whispered, “What’s there to be shy for

silly girl…”

 

My lips pulled down into a perfect arch as I grumbled, “Ask him to stop calling me noona…”

 

“Silly, silly girl,” he chuckled. 

He reached and took my hand, intertwining my fingers with his. Pulling me towards their tiny make-up room, he turned and smiled at me. I smiled back.

 

Inside the puny room, the other members are either lazing on the couch, or playing with their gadgets, particularly a certain Heechul and Kyuhyun, arguing over their oh-so-awesome starcraft, completely not acknowledging their hyung who has just stepped in, and his girlfriend, might I add.

 

“This is crazy. You’re cheating!” Kyuhyun groaned and shot Heechul a look.

 

“What, I was just playing with tactics. Kyu ah, you need special abilities and the brains to think of such intelligent techniques against your opponents…” Heechul smirked.

 

The maknae groaned again in exasperation, thrusting his hands in the air, a stance of defeat.

 

“I give up, hyung. I should never have introduced you to the game. Now you’re ruining everything,” he complained.

 

“Ruining? I’m your hyung wtf.”

 

“Stop cussing. It’s unhealthy.”

 

“I agree!” a voice at the far corner of the room exclaimed.

 

“Shut up Eunhyuk. And man, who cares about cussing, little kid.”

 

“I behave and acts and even looks older than you, blind man.”

 

 “That’s why I’m better-looking.”

 

“Or so you claim.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“I know.”

Heechul started to stand, and Kyuhyun hurriedly pulled him back down again.

 

“Are you playing? Or not?” the maknae asked, acting as if nothing of any sort ever did happened between them just a few seconds ago.

 

“I thought you didn’t want me to.”

 

“I didn’t. But now I do. Come’on, play with me.” The younger man made a clingy gesture of leaning towards the older man, with hopelessly failing aegyo.

 

“You look old and aegyo don’t suit you. Come let’s play.” Heechul relented, easily satisfied this time.

 

“And don’t cheat.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Kay.”

 

I laughed softly, enjoying the little bicker. Oh, my boys are just so adorable.

“Is that funny?” Jung Soo asked, raising one beautiful bow.

I nodded as my body vibrated gently, in time to my uncontrollable laughter.

 

“If you have to face that everyday, it won’t be funny anymore,” he moaned, taking my hand again. I smiled. Obviously you enjoy the time with them. You just don’t admit it.

 

“Kay guys, time to pack up,”  Jung Soo announced, gesturing towards the door. “We’re running late, people. Come’on come’on quick quick! Move all your blooming asses!”

 

He walked towards some of the members, kicking their behinds as slowly all of them started to stand up and pack up their stuff.

 

“We’re not going to the interview?” Sungmin questioned, eyes wide. Oh, why did he have to look so impossibly cute…

You would think I would have gotten used to all these absurd cuteness already, but no, these boys… they never fail to amaze and get me crazy all over myself over their extreme cuteness. It’s so unfair. The whole of South Korea population should feel wrong and unjust since it completely isn’t right for only 15 lucky guys to have everything out of the world while everyone else has plain looks and things that everyone else has.

 

I pity everyone. Myself included. How could they look so compelling, so beautiful? I still couldn’t understand. And being that close to them was once something that seemed like a dream, something hopelessly impossible. But I actually was. I was the girlfriend of the K-pop kings, Super Junior’s leader, Park Jung Soo. I was. I actually was! But it still seems so unreal…yet vivid. Hah, something must be wrong with me.

 

“Yes, we aren’t going to the interview. We have to rush over to Hong Kong now,” Jung Soo explained.

 

“Ahh… right. Is she coming with us?” Sungmin asked, pointing at me.

 

“She’s Mi En, if you don’t know,” Jung Soo replied, his tone hostile. I squeezed his hand and whispered, much too low for the others to hear, “Don’t start it again. I can manage it.”

 

Sungmin has been the most unsupportive one. He felt that it isn’t right that we kept mum about relationship. He thought it was unfair to the ELF population, saying they have all the right to know if they are fans who had walked through these four years with them, caring, loving them. And I was once part of them. So all the more it seems wrong that they didn’t know a single thing.

 

But Leeteuk wasn’t giving in, or letting him get his way. He refused to make known our relationship to the public, taking my safety as an important consideration, a priority.

 

“If all it takes for you to break all those promises to our ELFs, to let them down is her, I don’t see leadership in you anymore,” Sungmin had said. He had made his point clear. He was not going to accept me, until I, no, we-Jung Soo and I, are brave enough to face up to the society.

 

But Jung Soo has said his piece too. He has explained that the time isn’t right. He has promised that when the time is ripe, he’ll make it clear to the media. And with that assurance in mind, Sungmin hasn’t stopped trusting him and following him. But he wasn’t accepting me. That part was maddening, but it was just the way it was. No matter how much he knew I love him, I love Suju, there’s no way he could let the whole forest down just to please a single tree like myself.

 

And I knew the time for him to accept me is too far-fetched. Because Jung Soo has taken no action of any sort.

 
 
Mood: crankycranky
 
 
 
10 October 2009 @ 01:54 pm
005


It's 3 days of stay in the hospital. Since the tests results showed that I was perfectly alright, the doctor relented in letting me discharged. However, up till the third day, Leeteuk didn't come and visit me at all. Even though it's driving me mad that he's leaving things un-cleared up, but part of me realised that that's not the only reason I'm looking forward for his visit. There are somehow, other feelings...

I shook my head in disgust and shook all thoughts away. Everything isn't possible. Just an idol. That's it. How much do I know him anyway? I sighed and returned to packing my stuff.

"Hey, you done with the clothes?" Shunho called as she walked out of the bathroom carrying a handful of toiletries. I rushed forward to help her with them and replied, "Yeah. Folded neatly in the bag. Hey how come I didn't know there were so many stuff to pack?"

"Well, when you gave me the key to go to your house and bring your stuff here, I didn't know what to bring so I just brought everything. Hehe." she replied, blushing. I raised my eyebrows. "You're impossible, ShunHo."
She winced childishly but helped me arranged everything in my bag.

"Thank you so much ShunHo. You took time off today to help me pack. Thank you so much!" I smiled up at her while sitting cross-legged on the bed, waiting for her to finish arranging the toiletries.

"No problem. Anyway it's Saturday so I'll be left studying in my domitory in school. Not much to do anyways." she assured me.

"Well, so how is your preparations for the next round of audition coming along?" I asked cheerfully. She looked up and stared at me slowly, deliberating. 

"Oh oh, nah. I'm over with that stupid audition. Don't care about hurting me since I don't feel the disappointment anymore. Go ahead and tell me your preparations." I patted her shoulder and swept my hair back casually to show that I don't mind. She checked my expression once more and when she realised that I'm really not bothered, she went on to tell me about her preparations.

"Oh haha, well since it's an interview I supposed there's...not much to prepare, but just...well, I'll of course brush up on my conversational skills and work on how to look perfect to meet Wonder Girls!" she explained and clasped her hands together.  I nodded encouragingly.

"You'll do well. I know you will."

"Gee, thanks." she flashed a smile. Suddenly, the door to my ward was pushed open roughly and someone burst inside, huffing and puffing.
ShunHo and I turned to stare at the person, surprised. That guy was bending down, eyeing the floor as he panted breathlessly. I got down from the bed and tilt my head, trying to see who it was. Slowly, still panting, he looked up at me. I gasped. It was Leeteuk.

*
His face was flushed, and his hair was not in place. His sleeves were rolled up, showing glittering beads of water droplets. Clearly, he had been running. Clams of perspiration broke out on his forehead as he panted. However, despite being out of breath, he was grinning widely.

"Oh hi, Leeteuk. I supposed...you need to talk to Mi En alone or something?" ShunHo asked politely. Leeteuk transferred his gaze to ShunHo and nodded. "Yes, please. Thanks." he said breathlessly.
ShunHo returned his nodd and turned to me, "I'll wait outside." Before I could protest, she was already out of the door.

I sighed and turned to Leeteuk. His gaze was already fixed on me.

"Erm, do you want to sit down? You're out of breath." I pulled out a chair for him.

"Thanks" he said and sat down. I returned to my original place on the bed and sat cross-legged once more. I dropped my head to face the floor and waited.

"Mi En...Gosh, I thought I would never get here on time." He breathed. My head snapped up upon hearing my name.

"On time?" I questioned, curious.

"Yes. I heard that you would be discharged today. And since i was having schedules just now, I was really afraid when I come here, you'll be gone. Because I don't know where to find you after you're gone." he explained.

"Why do you need to find me?" I was confused.

"Don't you want me to explain things?"

"Oh, yes." I realised that he came here to explain things. He moved his chair close to the bed and took in a deep breath.

"Well, first off is about why there were people who stopped me when I wanted to carry you to the ambulance. Well, as an idol...many people are watching me. Every move I made could be intepreted in thousand of ways. If I carried you outside and cared for you, what would the reporters think? That I'm dating you? Yes, so my managers were stopping me... "he explained quickly.

"But...why? Why did you want to carry me outside? The paramedics could've come in and carry me..."

"Mi En...after the visit from Hankyung and Heechul, after everything, you still don't understand?"

"Understand what?"  I asked, clearly irritated. I was incredibly confused.

He sighed deeply. "Mi En, look, it's not gravity that holds me here anymore. Nothing holds me here anymore but you. Don't you get it? I don't know how to explain...but it's just unexplainable. The first time I saw you in that private room, when you auditioned. Something from you...just couldn't stop me from taking my eyes off you. When you rushed out of that room, I don't understand why but I panicked. I wanted to check if you were okay. I wanted to be around you to be sure that you wasn't hurt. If I would to follow the other members to the cafeteria, and watch you being taken away to the hospital right before my very eyes... I swore it would be unbearable for me. Not knowing how you were, not knowing if you were okay..." he trailed off.

I was frozen on the bed. I couldn't think clearly. Leeteuk stood up and sat in front of me on the bed. He reached forward, taking my hands very gently. I flinched. His hands flew back to his sides. I glanced up at him and he was looking away, embarassed. "I'm..I'm sorry. I need, to er, go now." I got down from the bed and strided to open the door. However, before I could reach the door, he grabbed my waist and wrapped his arms around it tightly.

"Don't go...don't go...please." he whispered pleadingly into my ears.

My eyebrows creased as I struggled out of his grasps. "Let me go!" Upon hearing that, he hugged my waist even tighter and whispered, louder this time, "No."
I stopped squirming. "Why?!" Slowly, he released my waist and spinned me around to look at him.
"I know this sounds totally absurd. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I like you Mi En, I can't...get you out of mind anymore. It's atrociously maddening for me to think of you all the time and not being able to see you. I swear, I swear it'll drive me crazy! Mi En, I like you. You understand?" he shook me a little.

Weirdly, I felt tears trying to pour. I fought back the tears fiercely and replied him softly, "No. It's not possible. I'm a nobody. You're ... an idol. A superstar. It's not possible for you to like me, don't you see?" I couldn't understand why am I rejecting him. But at that moment, my mind was totally cloudy. I couldn't think clearly. I just felt... like it was a dream. All of this wasn't possible at all.

He grabbed my wrists roughly. "DANG IT MI EN. Don't do this to me. I don't know why either but my feelings are unstoppable now. You're the one holding me here. You are ruling me now, can't you see? I can't...stop liking you now. It's too late Mi En!"

He pushed me roughly towards him and in a flash, he's mouth was on mine, moving so violently. I shut my eyes and that's when the tears started pouring. I tried to stop the kiss, but he was too...agressive. He seems to sensed my tears and he released me after a moment.

My eyes flew opened. He glanced down at me and murmmured, "I'm...sorry. I'm really sorry..." I don't understand why, but I flung myself towards him and in a second my face was hidden in his chest. I sobbed and said in between sniffles. "I'm sorry...I, I guess I like you too..."

He hugged me back gently and stroked my back. "It's okay...everything is fine..." he whispered.
 
 
10 October 2009 @ 01:53 pm
004

"What the heck! Stop! Stop running around like that! I don't know if you are okay or not! What if there's something in your head or whatever that made it that you can't shout and run like that?!! AH OMG YOU BETTER COME AND SIT DOWN!" Shunho screamed.
I sighed in exasperation and trodded over to the bed. "What's the problem? I'm perfectly okay~ ahahah, it feels like I'm flying!" I clasped my hand together and stared at a distance dreamily.
Shunho smacked her forehead and shook her head slowly. "Hopeless...seriously. Ah anyway because none of us at the audition knew you so no one contacted your relatives. I guess they must be on hot bricks now. Better give me their numbers and I'll help you inform them, idiot."
I pursed my lips and tuck my hair behind my ear...stalling time.
Shunho seemed to sense the change of mood and placed her hands on mine. "Mi En...something wrong?"
I shut my eyes and mumbled, "Please...don't judge me hastily...deal?"
"Of course. Tell me what's wrong."
I opened my eyes. "I...er, I don't have any relatives. I'm an orphan... " I continued, "Since 17, I've been out of the orphanage and living on my own. My friends are maybe just people I meet at work. No one is close to me. And it's been so many, so many years... I've always been on my own. " I bit my tougue hard to fight all the negative emotions back.  The feeling of finally opening up and telling someone what I really am is overwhelming.
"Oh, Mi En, oh..." Shunho squeezed my hand tightly. "Aww, Mi En why didn't you tell me darling..."
I smiled slightly. "There's nothing to tell...we just met."
ShunHo nodded. "Aha, yes, of course. Care to...tell me more?"
I took at deep breathe. "Since 17, I worked part-time as a kindergarten teacher to pay for my school fees. Of course I would go back to the orphanage to visit ocassionally. But well, other than those times, I'm pretty much, alone I guess. As much as you can see, I spend most of my time fan-girling. Over Super Junior. Over Wonder Girls. [author's note: btw, i dun fan-girl over wondergirls. lol] And ever since i'm a kid, I wanted to be in showbiz. Because dancing and singing...they made me happy. They kept me intact. Only when I'm dancing and singing will I not be bothered when I see girls my age smiling up at their parents when their parents went to visit them in the school domitory. Only will I sensed that I have a purpose in this planet. You don't understand ShunHo...it kills not to know where you came from... you don't know who brought you to this planet. Sometimes when I watch  TV serials, it became mind boggling when people cry when their parents die. Those emotions seems so foreign to me. It's so strange, because I don't understand the great mother love that people usually say. I don't feel the love from my dad. Because I never had one, I never had any mum or dad..."
Shunho asked tactfully, "But why...why when we first met you could be so friendly, so normal. When actually inside you're someone so locked up?"
That's when the tears came. I bit my lip down so hard. I don't want to say anymore. It hurts so much to face the truth that I'm still somewhat different from people around me. However, I couldn't stop. Because finally there's someone that I'm willing to pour out my most genuine feelings. How could I just stop?
"If I showed you how lonely I was, how pathetic I really am, I was afraid you would judge me. Further more we just met."
However, at that moment, the door was pushed aside. That's when it dawned on me. The door wasn't closed at all. ShunHo forgot to locked it. Which lead to the person outside being able to listen to whatever was happening inside the ward. I shuddered. No...no! My life story was being exposed to the world! In an instant, I grabbed my blanket and started holding to it for my dear life. I flung it over my head and hid inside, shuddering non-stop.
"Mi En...Mi En!" Shunho tried to pry my fingers away from the blanket. However, it was a failed attempt. I was too frightened, too taken aback that I was using so much force while holding on to the blanket.
"Mi En...! What happened?" Shunho yelled irritatedly. She continued the struggle, with me pulling the blanket harder than ever, and her trying to pull my hands away.
I heard footsteps approaching my bed. It sounded like...2 people. They seem to be running too. Are they trying to help ShunHo? This thought scared me. I didn't want them to see me, to judge me. They knew who I really am inside. It scares me so much that I screamed when those two people came to help ShunHo with the blanket.
"GET THOSE PEOPLE AWAY. ASK THEM TO GO OUT OF MY WARD!!!" I cried desperately. I didn't want to face them. They have no right to know my life story. No right to judge me.
"Mi En...! Urggh, stop kicking and hiding in there! Please. Get out from under that blanket and look carefully at who are they!" ShunHo shouted to overpower my muffled screams.
Why did ShunHo ask me to look carefully at who are they? Are they people I know? Are they doctors that are trying to check on me? Whoever they were, if ShunHo said that they were fine then I should trust her, isn't it? Thousands of thoughts went through my mind at that moment. Finally, I stopped shuddering. I released my grip on the blanket slowly. ShunHo took in a huge breath and sighed as she pulled the blanket away. And that was when I saw who were they. The interlocking hands. The matching haircuts but with one more soft and feminine. One slender and slim body with another beautifully built. Heechul and Hankyung. My favourite One True Pair! I struggled to stifle a gasp. With them standing so close to me, coming face to face with them...they are impossibly matching and gorgeous. In that instant, I totally forgot about them overhearing my life story, seeing through who I really am inside.
"Hi Mi En." Hankyung stepped forward with a dashing smile. He turned to gesture Heechul to do the same. Heechul rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and stepped forward too. "Hey there."
I swallowed.
ShunHo smiled. "Look Mi En, it's HanChul. Why were you so afraid just now?" She placed her hands on top of mine and stroked it back and forth.
That was when I remembered they were eavesdropping on my conversation with Shun Ho. I shivered. I turned my head slowly and raised my head. "You both...were eavesdropping right?"
ShunHo stiffened. She whispered, much too low for them to hear, "Mi En! They are our idols! Show more respect! They were our judges a few days ago!" I shook my head fervently. "I don't care." 
This time, I wasn't scared anymore. I was angry. Who are they to eavesdrop on us? They have no right to know me more than other people. As much as I love both of them, since they are truly my idols, and as much as I'm nervous to face them in a private ward face to face, they still have no right to judge me.
"I'm sorry. Because the door wasn't locked so..." Hankyung started.

"So you have the liberty to pry on others private conversation? Super Junior members are my idols which include you both!  How can the both of you do that to me. That was my life story. And you listened to it all. Do the both you know how hard it is for me to accept the fact that who I really am inside is being exposed to the world?" I brushed my tears away. 

"Hey don't you dare talk to Hankyung like that!" Heechul shot back.

Hankyung raised a hand to stop Heechul. "We're really sorry but well, actually we were here to pay you a visit and find out if you're well since Leeteuk hyung has schedules. But you were telling your friend your life story when we came. So we waited outside after you finished." Hankyung finished.

"We eavesdropped because we need to find out what kind of girl you are since gaeteuk couldn't get you out of his mind." Heechul explained, annoyed.
I stared at the both of them in disbelief. It all seems to confusing. Leeteuk couldn't get me out of his mind? Did I hear it wrongly?
"Hankyung? Heechul? Can you get your hyung here?" I requested softly.

"He has schedules. Didn't you listen to Hankyung just now?!" Heechul answered as his eyebrows creased.
Hankyung sighed and turned to Heechul. "Shhh dear. We're here to run and errand. Not to attack people."
Heechul narrowed his eyes. "Fine." He dropped Hankyung hand and slumped down on the sofa that was pushed to the side.

Hankyung turned back to me and said, "Leeteuk hyung is kind of busy right now but I'll get him to come maybe tomorrow? Oh well, if he have time, he'll definitely come himself. You mean so much to him!"
This is getting more and more foreign to me. I was really confused. Whatever I thought. As long as he's gonna explain everything, then it'll be fine.

"Erm, okay... Well, I guess that's alright." I said.

*
"So...how are you feeling?" Hankyung asked.

"Fine enough." I grinned, happy to be back to the happy me.

"Well...don't mind me saying, but since our hyung is so attached to you, all 13 of us will be behind you so...I hope you don't feel alone again. From what I heard just now... you seem to be putting on a brave front."

"Kyunggie, that's none of our business!" Heechul groaned.

Hankyung turned and looked at Heechul. "That very much is our business, love. We need to help her."

Heechul moaned, "We're here to find out how she is physically. Not emotionally or mentally."

Hankyung sighed and turned back to me. "Anyway, we all hope you'll be happy."

I nodded. "Thank you. Well, I think I better break the habit of being alone all the time. If not I'll forever be feeling empty inside. I'm happy. I just need people beside me to take on the role of showering me love since I don't have any parents. And it looks like...there are." I looked at ShunHo meaningfully.
She smiled back and squeezed my hand. "Be happy Mi En, really. I'll be by you whenever you need me. So what if you're an orphan? You have tons of people to care for you!"

"Can we go now?" Heechul grumbled.

We laughed.

 
 
10 October 2009 @ 01:52 pm
003

The first thing that hit me was the disgusting stench. The unpleasant smell I hated since young. The "doctor" smell. Oh well. Or the "hospital" smell. Whatever. I hated visiting the clinic, let alone being admitted into the hospital. I forced my eyes opened and wrinkled my nose. "Ack!" I murmured silently. My nose felt sore. My whole body felt sore. How long had I been lying here? I blinked a few times, adjusting to the piercing light above me. This hospital sure don't use energy saving bulb! I complained lamely to myself. At that moment, something struck me. My hand was wrapped around someone else's hand. That's why it feels so feverish, while other parts of me felt a little cold. I couldn't make out who was the person, considering the fact that the figure was sitting at the far end of my bed. I tried to move that hand, but to no avail. The person was gripping it to tightly that his palms were sweating. "He..ll..llo?" I croaked. Only it sounded like, "aleo." And at that moment, his head sprang up and he screamed, " OMYGOD, DOCTOR!! DOCTOR!!!" And that was when I realised I was holding the blanket in a vice-like grip. And my body was... shaking. Yes, literally. The figure bent forward, causing his scented breath to fan on my face, while blocking the annoying light. Even with the close distance between his face and mine, I still couldn't make out who is he. My vision was blurred, and my heart was thumping harder than ever, probably due to the shocked I suffered from his scream just now. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I scared you. Didn't mean to... " he whispered.
"Nay, itz... o...kah." I replied. Sounding like... a frog?
"How are you feeling, MiEn? The doctor is coming to check on you..."
"My vision is blurred..." I mumbled.
"Oh, probably because you slept for so long."
"How long?"
"A day or so."
My eyes widened. Or so it feels like it is widening as I can't feel a thing.
"I was in a ...coma?"
"No." Silence.
Silence.
"Then what?" I asked slowly.
"I asked the doctor to make you sleep deeply, sorry. Sorry sorry..." he apologised like there was no tomorrow.
"Huh, but why?"
"To take your mind off things, MiEn..." he sighed.
"Off...things?"
"Think carefully about how you ended up here."
My mind started replaying things, like an old ancient footage. The only difference was, it was on rewind.
"Oh. Oh, oh, oh."
"Mmm, so...yea."
"And erm, oh, so who are you?"
Before he can reply, at that so not favourable moment, the doctor rushed in. I made a face.
"I'm sorry Mr Jungsoo, I'm afraid you need to leave your girlfriend alone for awhile. We need to run some tests." the doctor said.
Huh? Jungsoo? With me??? And...what was that he said? GIRLFRIEND?!!!
"Ahh. Doctor er wait.." before i could continue, the nurse beside the doctor pushed Jung Soo out of the ward.
Aish. I bit my lip in annoyance.

*
After the tests were done, the doctor went out. I was sitting straight up on the bed, eyeing the door. I want to throw questions at Leeteuk when he comes in.
A moment later, the door opened. However, it wasn't Leeteuk that came in. It was ShunHo. She hurriedly rushed to my side and rattled words of concern. "You okay? I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be with you. But anyway this morning when I came in to your ward I saw Leeteuk holding your hand, asleep. I didn't want to disturb so I just went out. But later when I came back Leeteuk was outside your ward looking abit... I don't know. Weird. Like he swallowed a cow or something. He told me the doctor was running some tests on you and yes, so I waited for you. You feeling alright? You slept a lot."
I blinked.
Wow, Shunho really raps.
"Oops. I'm sorry. I yea, I talk like that. Hehe."
"Oh oh, it's okay, really, I just... kind of shocked. Haha." I waved her apology away.
"Hmm, so how are you feeling?" She reached up to feel my forehead, then my hands. "Woah, your hands feel feverish while your forehead is normal. What does that mean?" She widened her eyes.
"It means that Leeteuk clutch people's hands so tightly. Urgh." I answered, frowning irritatedly.
ShunHo froze.
I glanced up at her. "What's the matter?"
Slowly, ShunHo eyebrows started rising. Then, it drooped. After a second, her eyes started bulging, glimmering excitedly, dancing away.
I stared at her, frightened. "Erm ShunHo, are you okay? Omg, what's the matter?" I shook her a little.
"OH. MY GOD." She separated each word distinctly and looked at me. Meaningfully. She looked at me like I'm suddenly having 3 eyes and 5 mouths.
"What?!!"
"KIM. MI. EN."
"What the hell. WHAT?!!"
"DO YOU HAVE THE FAINTEST IDEA EXACTLY HOW LUCKY YOU ARE?"
"Li Shun Ho, may I know why are you blabbering some stuff that are downright weird to me? What lucky?!! I fainted, hit my brain real hard and that's lucky? Ew."
"No, I don't mean that, Mi En. I mean... oh my god. Leeteuk HELD YOUR HAND FOR LIKE AT LEAST FREAKING 3HOURS. I mean, that's how long I was gone. But well, I assumed he was holding on to your hand the whole time I was gone. And how can an idol do that so easily to people like us? It simply means that..."
"Means WHAT."
"MEANS THAT HE CARES FOR YOU. HE'S CONCERN ABOUT YOUR WELL-BEING WHICH MEANS...HE LIKES YOU!! Ahh, Mi En ah Mi En, why are you so lucky?"
This time, it was me who was silent. I couldn't hear ShunHo anymore. My mind was just boggling. Yes, Leeteuk held onto my hand...at first when I thought about it, I thought he was just doing it because...because of what? I suddenly realised I didn't thought about it at first. Now that I think about it...wow. My idol actually...actually cared for me? He carried me to the ambulance despite being stopped, took care of me in the hospital...and told the doctor I was his girlfriend? Okay, maybe the last part is till abit puzzling, but yeah, he really...cared for me. But why? He couldn't possibly...like what Shunho said, like me?!!
I started hyperventiliating. I grabbed ShunHo's hands and screamed. "LI SHUNHO!! OMYGOD!!! AHHH~!!! LEETEUK CARED FOR ME!!! WOW THIS IS SIMPLY...AHH!!" I dropped her hands and jumped down from the bed. "Woahhhh~~!!! Wooohooo~~~!!" I ran in circles around my ward crazily, like a escape patient from a mental hospital. I spreaded my hands out as if flying, and just made weird noises non-stop. "Oooh!! Ahhh~~ yayyy~~!!"

 
 
10 October 2009 @ 01:09 pm

002
My head was buried between my legs. I tried hard to breathe. I tried to stop the overwhelming anxiety from enveloping me. However, how could I after what just happened? "Oh, Mi En, it's okay. Come, drink this hot chocolate to sooth your nerves." Shunho whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes and remained unmoving. "Mi En...come'on..." She tried again. I lifted my head a little and said just as quietly, "I don't want it. Just leave me alone!"
"Mi En..."
"You can have the hot choc. Just, just tap me when the results are out okay?"
"Mi En, please. It is just an audition. You mean all 100 girls here are supposed to behave like how you are behaving now when they..."
"Just go away!" I yelled and hundred pairs of eyes turned to stare at me.
"Mi En, this is the waiting studio! shush! I'll tap you when the results are out if you want me to." Shunho said in a low voice. Before I realised it, I was shedding tears and hiding in Shunho's arm.
"Shunho... I messed it all up. I messed it all up!" I wept.
"No you didn't... it's just an audition. You still have a long way ahead of you. Why be upset about an audition when you can attend tons in the future?" she said firmly.
"No! You don't understand! When the music started, I can't see anything because of the spotlight! But i started to dance. And then i fell... and then, and then I just ruined everything!"
"Oh, Mi En..."
"The music suddenly stopped when i fell. The spotlight stopped shining. I was again, clearly visible to the judges. And, and I ran out! I just ran out of the room! I ruined the audition, Shunho, I screwed it all up!"
I continued weeping for a very long time before ShunHo tapped my arm and said, "Mr YooChun is here." I sat up, adjusting to the environment and atmosphere around me. It was dead silence as everybody eyed the piece of paper that Mr KimYooChun was holding.
"Girls, thank you everyone for your participation. 100 participants here. Only 30 will go a step closer to their dreams. A competition always have winning, and losing. Don't take it too hard on yourself," he said. Formalities... I rolled my eyes.
"This are the lucky 30 girls who will get to the next round of audition..."
*
Even though I already had expected the results to be like that, I still feel betrayed. Betrayed by the spotlights, betrayed by my clumsy feet. Betrayed by the world! What made it worse, was that ShunHo got into the next round of audition. Well, being a friend, I should be happy. But that was quite impossible with what I am feeling right now. Lost, betrayed, sad, angry. A mix of convuluted emotions. I stood up unsteadily, my eyes lost in a thousand directions. I could faintly hear ShunHo's voice behind me. Her footsteps to catch up with me. Her attempt to stop me before I... bam! I feel with a loud thud onto the floor. Warm moisture seeped from my scalp , into my hair, making me smell that unpleasant...blood. But I was not unconcious. I could still hear gasps and screams from the girls around me. Barely. The light from the studio slowly became blur... I blinked. It was clear and bright again. I tried to get up. But my efforts were futile. I was numb and tired. I gave in, and closed my eyes.

"Mi En?" shake shake.
"Can you hear me? Mi En?" shake shake
Huh? Why weren't I dead? If I am dead, then this had to be heaven. The angel voice was like chimes!
"Mi En?" Leeteuk tried again.
But if this is heaven... then why is Leeteuk with me? I forced my eyes opened and I saw the face. His face. Leeteuk's face. "Huh? I am not dead?" I mused aloud.
"No of course not, you silly. Finally you are awake! You scared all of us!" Leeteuk replied with relief.
"Oh." I frowned, still not quite understanding what had happened.
"You're still bleeding. The ambulance is outside," he continued,"Come'on guys! Let's move her!"
"No, Leeteuk-sshi, you are our guest. You should be with your members at the cafeteria outside. We will do the job. You need to rest, Leeteuk-sshi" a foreign voice cut in.
"At this point of time you still want to argue with me about my status? Come, move her!" Leeteuk replied, annoyed.
"No, no! You are a star, an artiste. You ought to be resting with the other members. She is just a mere auditionee. Leave her to us, Mr Leeteuk Park Jung Soo. " the man said again.
With one swift hand, Leeteuk lifted me up, while another gently balancing my head. A restraining hand cut in front of his pathway. "Leeteuk-sshi. Leave her to us. Don't make things difficult for us." the owner of the hand said. There was a flurry of activites as Leeteuk rushed past the man and brought me outside, into the ambulance.
The throbbing pain occuring inside my head made it hard to concentrate. I felt dizzy and knackered. With little knowledge of who those people are and why were they stopping Leeteuk, I tried my best to croaked, "W...why..?"
"Hm?" he raised his eyebrow.
"Why did he..." I trailed off.
"Oh. Erm, I'll explain after you are sober enough. Now don't talk, go to sleep."
"But..." I squirmed as a paramedic tighten my stretcher belt while some others connect complicated tubes and medical stuff onto my arms and legs. "I'm sober."
"Just rest. Don't ask anymore."
"B...but... OW!" I shrieked as a needle was jabbed into my arm. The pain slowly flowed throughout my body. As blood oozed, my head began spinning. My nose was filled with the unpleasant smell, once again. I felt naseous. I tried to turn my head away from the blood. But the fatigue, like a invisible devil forcing extreme pressure on me, seems to be forcing me down onto the stretcher. I couldn't move. "The...bl..ood...! Can anyone see it?! It's killing me...! Anyone? Help..."my voice sounds hoarse. I felt Leeteuk's hurried breath on my face as his hands tried to gently turned my head. Upon his soft touch, I flinched.
"What's the matter? Is it painful?" he asked anxiously.
"No," I swallowed. "You...tell me what happened. And why." I persisted.
He ran his hand through his hair and shuffled uncomfortably.
"Well?" I asked.
"I've never met someone as stubborn and persistent as you. Just sleep okay? I'll tell you once you wake up. I promise. Just rest. Your face is all blotchy and red. You need rest. Rest, okay?" He rushed everything out irritatedly.
Not wanting to bicker, I shut my eyes, and drifted to La La land...
 
 
10 October 2009 @ 01:06 pm
The Dream
NOTE: I KNOW WONDERGIRLS ARE NOT FROM SM ENTERTAINMENT, I KNOW THEY ARE FROM JYP. it's juz a fic. dun start bashing me):

001
"Ah, this is bad. I'm running late for that stupid audition!" I mumbled. I looked around the bus which was packed with people and glanced at the traffic. My audition is starting in 15mins flat and I'm still in the bus, staring at the traffic desperately to get it moving. "As if staring would be any of use." I sighed. The bus crept forward slowly... and I slumped back, hopeless.

Holding the hanger of my outfit, covered by the black protective cover, I bumped around SM Entertainment building looking for the audition hall with my black leather bag bobbing on my shoulder. Beads of perspiration dripped down my forehead and I panicked. It's an audition to find the next member for WonderGirls! How can I possibly got picked when I'm looking like this? Wrecked and sweating?!!! I have not even put on my make-up and change into the outfit. "Whatthehell, whatthehell, whatthehell..." I chanted.

"AUDITION FOR THE 6TH MEMBER OF WONDERGIRLS." printed in black ink on green paper was tacked onto the door of the audition hall. I smiled triumphantly as I pushed the door open quietly, afraid if I'll disturb the others who are also in the audition. I heaved a sigh of relief as I glanced around, everyone was either practicing their item for the last time or putting on make-up, some smoothing their outfits. I found the changing room and rushed in, afraid to be late for another second. When I stepped out of the changing room and sat down, ready to put on my make-up, i heard whispering from two girls behind. "Hey, do you think wondergirls will be our judges?" the first girl whispered.
"If that's true, then wouldn't that be superb? Facing our idols face-to-face?" the second girl chimed in, enthusiasm building in her voice.
I took no notice and applied powder onto my face. "Superb?! SanHo! We are auditioning to JOIN THEM. And if they are present, wouldn't it be even more scary to everyone else? Auditioning in front of our idols?!"the first girl cried.
Sanho grew quiet. No, suddenly, everyone grew quiet. I raised my eyebrows. Did something happened?

"Girls, our audition will begin in just a couple of minutes. Please follow me and I'll lead you to the audition room," a man in blacksuit, I assume, the manager of WonderGirls, called out in a loud and clear voice. I gasped and checked my face out quickly. It looks okay. Except I have not really finish putting on my make-up. I bit my lip. "You still need a little bit of blush and you will look perfect," a tiny voice whispered behind. I turned. A girl my age, with hair cropped short, smiled at me.
"Er, thanks." I smiled back timidly.
"Welcome. Oh, and hi, I'm Li Shunho." she offered her hand. I took her hand and replied"Hi, I'm Kim MiEn. Nice to meet you."

I applied a little blush on my cheeks, just like Shunho had suggested and grinned widely. I do look good, even though I'm saying this to myself. Shunho and I walked abreast, towards the audition room, and faced our destiny.


Once in the room, the man who I assumed was Wonder Girls’ manager, rearranged us according to our registration numbers. Of course, being one of the latest, I was at the back. Surprisingly, Shunho was right in front of me.

“Hi again,” she smiled. I laughed and grinned back.

“Girls, listen up. Let me introduce myself. I’m “SM auditions” in-charge, Kim Yoochun,” oh, so the man in the black suit was not Wonder Girls’ manager… He continued, “Now, we will call out names to get into the private room, where the audition will take place.”

“Who’s the judges?” I heard Sanho called out.

Yoochun smiled and said, “That’s where I’m getting to. Be patient, girl. SM Entertainment won’t recruit impatient girls. Now, SuperJunior and Wonder Girls’ manager will be on the judges’ panel. Wonder Girls’ will only be present at the next round of audition which we will only choose 30 out of the 100 or so here. Wonder Girls’ will have an interview with the 30 girls chosen and they will choose 5 out of the 30, to get into the 3rd round of audition.” Murmurs began to arouse around me. YooChun glanced around, and asked, “Is that understood?” Everyone nodded, and as he turned to walk into the private room, chatters began.

“Super Junior? Oh my god?! We are facing them face-to-face?! One-on-one?!” a girl with blond hair shrieked. I turned to Shunho and mumbled, “I’m very nervous.”

“Because of SuperJunior?” she asked.

“Yes. I’ve been a fan of them and WonderGirls since a long time ago…”I trailed off.

“Would you be as nervous if it was WonderGirls?”

I thought for a moment. “I don’t think so. Maybe it’s because it’s human instinct for girls to want to impress guys. So… that should explain why everyone is so nervous.”

“Is that so? I don’t feel nervous. Even though I am a fan of them. Or… do you have a crush on a particular member?” she teased.

I blushed and replied, “Just a fan, a fan!”

She laughed.

*
The line in front of me is almost cleared as one by one they were being called into the private room. Just 2 more in front of Shunho. I slumped down onto the floor and cupped my face. “Are you pouting?” Shunho asked with fake curiosity.

“Yeah, and sulking.” I grimaced.

“Aw, it’s not that bad! The line is almost cleared and it would be your turn soon! Oh, and if you continue cupping your face and sulking around, your make-up will soon be smeared and messed up and you will look really bad to face your idols,” she furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head.

“Fine,” I gave in. I stood up and that was when YooChun walked out and called, “Li Shunho.” I squeezed her hand and mouthed, “Good luck.” She returned a nod and walked confidently into the private room.

15 minutes passed and YooChun walked out again. “Kim Mien.” I blinked and tried to accustom to what he was saying. Oh! Was he calling me? In an instant, I came to life and followed him into the room. Shunho passed by me and squeezed my hand. I really did need some luck.

Once in the room, the cool air-conditioner hit me almost immediately. My waist-length black hair swayed just a little bit. I stepped forward, into the view of the judges. “Ow!” I stumbled upon a wire. You clumsy bimbo! What would the judges think?! A small voice inside my head screamed. I got up and walked as confidently as I could managed, to the center of the stage.

“Hi, Mien.” I recognized the voice at once. It was Kangin.

“Hi.” I smiled shyly.

“So where are you from?” he asked.

“South Korea, Seoul.” I replied.

“But you look… different from the others.” Another voice said.

“Yes, Leeteuk. I do look different from the others. I’m born in Seoul, but my mum is half English, half Irish. My dad is Korean.” I explained softly.

“So you are Eurasian?” Sungmin asked, curiosity deep in his voice.

“Yes, I am Eurasian. But my roots are in Korea. So I speak Korean the most.” I answered, opening up.

“You look beautiful.” Leeteuk commented. I blushed. Not sure what to reply. Kangin nudged him in the ribs and said, “Hey, don’t mind him. He’s a bit… you know, swoon over pretty girls.” I laughed and said, “You are associated with alchohol and women too! The other members always mention that when all of you are in variety shows.”

“Hey, so you are a fan of us?” Siwon grinned and his dimples are absolutely mesmerizing.

I nodded and flashed them a smile. “You are 22, from South Korea, currently a teacher cum student. Is that right?” a man sitting at the far end asked while looking at my profile. He should be the manager-oppa, I thought.

“That is right.” I answered.

“Hmm. A teacher huh? You must be smart." Shindong chimed in. 

I flushed crimson.

“Alright, enough guys. Now, let’s start the audition. Your item is…” the manager-oppa glanced down at my profile, “‘Nobody’ by Wonder Girls. Okay, you may start.”