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10 October 2009 @ 01:54 pm
The Dream chapt 5  

It's 3 days of stay in the hospital. Since the tests results showed that I was perfectly alright, the doctor relented in letting me discharged. However, up till the third day, Leeteuk didn't come and visit me at all. Even though it's driving me mad that he's leaving things un-cleared up, but part of me realised that that's not the only reason I'm looking forward for his visit. There are somehow, other feelings...

I shook my head in disgust and shook all thoughts away. Everything isn't possible. Just an idol. That's it. How much do I know him anyway? I sighed and returned to packing my stuff.

"Hey, you done with the clothes?" Shunho called as she walked out of the bathroom carrying a handful of toiletries. I rushed forward to help her with them and replied, "Yeah. Folded neatly in the bag. Hey how come I didn't know there were so many stuff to pack?"

"Well, when you gave me the key to go to your house and bring your stuff here, I didn't know what to bring so I just brought everything. Hehe." she replied, blushing. I raised my eyebrows. "You're impossible, ShunHo."
She winced childishly but helped me arranged everything in my bag.

"Thank you so much ShunHo. You took time off today to help me pack. Thank you so much!" I smiled up at her while sitting cross-legged on the bed, waiting for her to finish arranging the toiletries.

"No problem. Anyway it's Saturday so I'll be left studying in my domitory in school. Not much to do anyways." she assured me.

"Well, so how is your preparations for the next round of audition coming along?" I asked cheerfully. She looked up and stared at me slowly, deliberating. 

"Oh oh, nah. I'm over with that stupid audition. Don't care about hurting me since I don't feel the disappointment anymore. Go ahead and tell me your preparations." I patted her shoulder and swept my hair back casually to show that I don't mind. She checked my expression once more and when she realised that I'm really not bothered, she went on to tell me about her preparations.

"Oh haha, well since it's an interview I supposed there's...not much to prepare, but just...well, I'll of course brush up on my conversational skills and work on how to look perfect to meet Wonder Girls!" she explained and clasped her hands together.  I nodded encouragingly.

"You'll do well. I know you will."

"Gee, thanks." she flashed a smile. Suddenly, the door to my ward was pushed open roughly and someone burst inside, huffing and puffing.
ShunHo and I turned to stare at the person, surprised. That guy was bending down, eyeing the floor as he panted breathlessly. I got down from the bed and tilt my head, trying to see who it was. Slowly, still panting, he looked up at me. I gasped. It was Leeteuk.

His face was flushed, and his hair was not in place. His sleeves were rolled up, showing glittering beads of water droplets. Clearly, he had been running. Clams of perspiration broke out on his forehead as he panted. However, despite being out of breath, he was grinning widely.

"Oh hi, Leeteuk. I supposed...you need to talk to Mi En alone or something?" ShunHo asked politely. Leeteuk transferred his gaze to ShunHo and nodded. "Yes, please. Thanks." he said breathlessly.
ShunHo returned his nodd and turned to me, "I'll wait outside." Before I could protest, she was already out of the door.

I sighed and turned to Leeteuk. His gaze was already fixed on me.

"Erm, do you want to sit down? You're out of breath." I pulled out a chair for him.

"Thanks" he said and sat down. I returned to my original place on the bed and sat cross-legged once more. I dropped my head to face the floor and waited.

"Mi En...Gosh, I thought I would never get here on time." He breathed. My head snapped up upon hearing my name.

"On time?" I questioned, curious.

"Yes. I heard that you would be discharged today. And since i was having schedules just now, I was really afraid when I come here, you'll be gone. Because I don't know where to find you after you're gone." he explained.

"Why do you need to find me?" I was confused.

"Don't you want me to explain things?"

"Oh, yes." I realised that he came here to explain things. He moved his chair close to the bed and took in a deep breath.

"Well, first off is about why there were people who stopped me when I wanted to carry you to the ambulance. Well, as an idol...many people are watching me. Every move I made could be intepreted in thousand of ways. If I carried you outside and cared for you, what would the reporters think? That I'm dating you? Yes, so my managers were stopping me... "he explained quickly.

"But...why? Why did you want to carry me outside? The paramedics could've come in and carry me..."

"Mi En...after the visit from Hankyung and Heechul, after everything, you still don't understand?"

"Understand what?"  I asked, clearly irritated. I was incredibly confused.

He sighed deeply. "Mi En, look, it's not gravity that holds me here anymore. Nothing holds me here anymore but you. Don't you get it? I don't know how to explain...but it's just unexplainable. The first time I saw you in that private room, when you auditioned. Something from you...just couldn't stop me from taking my eyes off you. When you rushed out of that room, I don't understand why but I panicked. I wanted to check if you were okay. I wanted to be around you to be sure that you wasn't hurt. If I would to follow the other members to the cafeteria, and watch you being taken away to the hospital right before my very eyes... I swore it would be unbearable for me. Not knowing how you were, not knowing if you were okay..." he trailed off.

I was frozen on the bed. I couldn't think clearly. Leeteuk stood up and sat in front of me on the bed. He reached forward, taking my hands very gently. I flinched. His hands flew back to his sides. I glanced up at him and he was looking away, embarassed. "I'm..I'm sorry. I need, to er, go now." I got down from the bed and strided to open the door. However, before I could reach the door, he grabbed my waist and wrapped his arms around it tightly.

"Don't go...don't go...please." he whispered pleadingly into my ears.

My eyebrows creased as I struggled out of his grasps. "Let me go!" Upon hearing that, he hugged my waist even tighter and whispered, louder this time, "No."
I stopped squirming. "Why?!" Slowly, he released my waist and spinned me around to look at him.
"I know this sounds totally absurd. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I like you Mi En, I can't...get you out of mind anymore. It's atrociously maddening for me to think of you all the time and not being able to see you. I swear, I swear it'll drive me crazy! Mi En, I like you. You understand?" he shook me a little.

Weirdly, I felt tears trying to pour. I fought back the tears fiercely and replied him softly, "No. It's not possible. I'm a nobody. You're ... an idol. A superstar. It's not possible for you to like me, don't you see?" I couldn't understand why am I rejecting him. But at that moment, my mind was totally cloudy. I couldn't think clearly. I just felt... like it was a dream. All of this wasn't possible at all.

He grabbed my wrists roughly. "DANG IT MI EN. Don't do this to me. I don't know why either but my feelings are unstoppable now. You're the one holding me here. You are ruling me now, can't you see? I can't...stop liking you now. It's too late Mi En!"

He pushed me roughly towards him and in a flash, he's mouth was on mine, moving so violently. I shut my eyes and that's when the tears started pouring. I tried to stop the kiss, but he was too...agressive. He seems to sensed my tears and he released me after a moment.

My eyes flew opened. He glanced down at me and murmmured, "I'm...sorry. I'm really sorry..." I don't understand why, but I flung myself towards him and in a second my face was hidden in his chest. I sobbed and said in between sniffles. "I'm sorry...I, I guess I like you too..."

He hugged me back gently and stroked my back. "It's okay...everything is fine..." he whispered.